The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, making love carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by why not try here believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the useful reference sex is excellent!" They most likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that numerous of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Numerous gay guys desire to discover from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar